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The Refuge
Men's Ministry
II Samuel 22:3 - My God, my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge, my savior, you save me from violence.
Our vision is to provide a safe haven and restoration station for each and every man in our church, city, and the nations.
“Deep in his heart, every man wants to be a part of a team that does something great. Just look at the movies men adore. A team comes together to save the world, steal the money, or win the championship… Many feature a band of brothers who attempt the dangerous, the outrageous, the impossible. Each member of the team has a specialty and makes a vital contribution.
A band of brothers. Though he may not realize it, every man longs to be a part of one”
Men’s groups are not about having a club or a guild (people with common interests or goals); it’s about integrating men into church. It’s about camaraderie, affirmation, personal development and spiritual growth.
According to churchformen.com,
- A significant number of churchgoing men attend out of habit, unaffected by what they hear.
- Quite a few men go to church simply to keep their wives/mothers/girlfriends happy.
- The majority of men who attend church do nothing during the week to grow their faith.
- Relatively few churches are able to establish or maintain a vibrant men’s ministry.
Men are a different. The common perception is men are self-reliant, don't feel, don't touch, don’t need fellowship, are too macho and are very competitive. Men see life as a puzzle.
So how do we integrate men in and outside the church community?
CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT FOR MEN.
Eddie Long, Senior Pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, shares six steps to developing godly character into the men of the church:
- Let men meet in male-only settings.
Developing strong, godly men is best accomplished in settings where men can be honest, open and transparent with themselves and one another. - Make a man think.
Men are thinkers. They ponder and meditate. While women use emotions and intellect simultaneously, men tend to use only one at a time. - Affirm men in their manhood.
Men need to be affirmed. One of the most devastating attacks on the body of Christ today is the lack of affirmation of manhood. A father affirms the masculinity in his sons and the femininity of his daughters. What is often missing in the family is to have the man look his son in the eyes and tell him, “I love you and respect you. You are a man.” - Consistently challenge men.
Once men are adequately affirmed, they must be consistently challenged. Men must be challenged to change their way of life in light of Scripture. Men are by nature competitive. They are looking for the next mountain to climb and conquer. - Do not expect too much too soon.
Men do not come to church in a totally sanctified state. Men must be taken through a process of maturing in Christ one step at a time. If we raise the bar too high, men will become discouraged and disillusioned. If we place the bar too low, we will encourage them to live in mediocrity and beneath the standard God has set for them. - Honestly present a strong male image.
The challenge to church leadership is to present themselves as strong, spiritual male images both inside and outside the church. The leaders of the church must be about the Master’s business. When men see godly male leadership lived out before them day after day, it acts like a magnet. We must be careful to present to our men an accurate image of Christ in everything we say and do.
The Ideal Men's Groups
Refuge is about creating an environment for men to grow together in life’s adventures. It’s about building a community with guys; affirming their masculinity, building bridges with the non-church going man, and to discuss, encourage and disciple one another in spiritual growth.
*With any activity, small group or event, have a clear purpose. Men are drawn to clarity and conciseness. If they are going to give up their weekend, weeknight or free time, they want to know why. Be sure to state purpose and goals – what’s in it for him.
Activities
Church or City-Wide Sports Leagues: Softball, Soccer, Fast-pitch, Dodgeball, Flag Football, Bowling, etc.
Outdoor events: Target tournaments, hunting, fishing, etc.
Cooking Classes: Training men how to properly cook steak, chicken, ribs, etc. with the best of them. The best part is, you get to enjoy the feast after its all cooked.
Golf
We Set aside regular events for guys to hit the links – one Saturday a month, a weekday morning or maybe a quick nine-holes after Sunday morning service. Construct a tournament, rotate the type of play (scramble, best ball, match play, etc.) or play just for fun.
Get together for refreshments and conversation after the round. Discussions don’t have to be organized or planned to a ‘T’, but utilize the opportunity for discipleship and spiritual encouragement. Much like life, you have to play golf one fairway at a time. Triple bogey on the previous hole, look ahead and birdie the next.
Basketball
Oasis Men will organize (or partner with) a church basketball league.
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3-on-3 pick-up games
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3-on-3 organized teams/schedule
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5-on-5 organized teams/schedule
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Full-season / Tournament
Football
Whether guys have ‘game’ or not, most love to watch football.
Fishing
Thanks to shows like “Wanna Go Fishing,” “Offshore Adventures,” “Madfin Shark Tournament,” and all the others that can be found on your local sports network, fishing events have become huge across the country. From the number of fish caught to the combined total pounds to the size of the fish, there are plenty of games and tournaments to get ‘hooked’ on.
The Business-Man Breakfast
Many Refuge Men join for a breakfast before the start of the workday. Saturday mornings may be the only day guys get to sleep in – thus deciding to snooze on the biscuit and gravy. So pick a weekday that works for you.
Service Ministries
Most guys like to fix things. They see something that needs to be repaired and they are just the one to fix it. Refuge Men have developed a crew of guys that provide mechanical, automotive and home improvement for single mothers or widows or for grooming/renovating church facilities. Not only offers a blessing to the recipient, but draws men together for a common cause of serving others.
Mission Trips
First hand experience on the mission field, which the church invests in through missionary and mission project support
Three Lost Keys
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By David Murrow
For sale: 1962 Ford Thunderbird convertible. One owner. Perfect showroom condition. Just 4,398 original miles.
This was one listing on eBay Motors that I couldn’t ignore. I clicked on the link. The car looked flawless. Sleek. Powerful. So I asked the owner a question: How come so few miles?
The owner wrote back: I lost the key in 1963.
Many Pastors, have a powerful resource at your disposal: our men. But many pastors have lost the key to motivating them.
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I’m not blaming them. Many probably tried to get their men involved. What happened? They made excuses. They stonewalled. They didn’t show up. After a while you learned not to waste any more time on men. So subtly turned their focus toward recruiting faithful women. Let's be honest: gals are more pleasant, faithful and easy to deal with, right? They’re less likely to pick a fight or turn into a rival.
But they ignore their men at there own peril. Every great movement of God has begun with men (including the ministry of Jesus). Contemporary research backs this up: a recent study found that the presence of enthusiastic men correlates with church growth, health and increased giving.
How do you turn your passive pew sitters into powerhouses for God’s kingdom? Here are three lost keys:
Key 1: Put a masculine spirit into all our programming. You may not realize it, but in the Church we tend to speak with a feminine accent. This is one reason Christianity is the only major world religion that attracts more women than men – millions more.
The first key to energizing men was to adopt a men-first strategy. Everything from décor to sermons are designed with men in mind. We didn't launch a men’s ministry. Instead, we focused on making our existing ministries more relevant to males.
Key 2: Reinvent your Sunday services and youth group. Modern youth groups spend half the hour singing. Yuck! No wonder almost all our young men leave the church. They know by age 15 they’re not cut out for the Christian life.
Key 3: Pastoral discipleship. We are busy men. So was Jesus. Yet he took the time to gather a small group of men and train them. We should do the same. The payoff for your church will be huge.
Consider what might happen when we forge a team of spiritually-awakened men. Visiting men would notice. Women would be encouraged. Boys would have role models to look up to. Families would be changed. Plus you would gain a team of men who have your back. They would defend you when adversaries attack.
Eventually these men could be challenged to disciple others. Within a few years you might have dozens – even hundreds of men being led to deeper faith.
How do we disciple men? Follow Christ’s example. By Personally invite a finite number of men. No empty chair. We need to take a personal interest in each one. Lead them through a series of experiences, not just books. Take them into the community and teach them with parables from everyday life. Be demanding. If a man doesn’t show up, give him one more chance, but then he’s out of the group. I know this seems cruel, but it’s exactly what Jesus would do. This is what men are longing for – a faith that demands something of them.
I know…investing in men seems like a lot of work. But it’s worth it. Energized men will energize your congregation. When we transform men we have transformed families, communities and nations
We have a powerful resource at your disposal: our men. But many pastors have lost the key to motivating them. So most of them sit like parked cars. put another way, “Most Christian men are spiritually unemployed.” -
Building Men Into Mature Leaders: A Foundational Issue for the Church
As this decade unfolds almost every challenge facing our culture, families and churches can be traced or related to the absence of men. Will we see men become what they should be in order to do what they should do? At the beginning of the 1990s many of us who were involved in the Christian men’s movement thought we were seeing the beginning of a movement that would become a wildfire and change the whole climate of the church within the United States and maybe the world. Now, a decade later, it is critical that we evaluate where we have been and what we have produced. -
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Senior Pastor’s Role in Men’s Ministries
Pastor Danny is key in providing leadership and support to the overall effectiveness of the men’s group. Matthew 4:19, Jesus models the leadership role as, “Come, follow me…and I will make you fishers of men” (ESV). He wanted the disciples to be with him, watch him, learn from him and follow his example.
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Oasis Church - 15501 North FM 620 Round Rock, Texas 78717 - (512)-436-9010
Also Visit: www.dannywilliams.org www.cherylwilliams.org
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